I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
