i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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