sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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