Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
