We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
