whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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