Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
