I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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