i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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