shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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