i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
