He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
