she was so not down for the gang bang
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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