Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
