i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize