Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
