benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
