Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I need a burrito and a hug.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
