not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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