It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
