That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
