Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
