You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
