you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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