For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
