How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So squirting runs in the family.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
