toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
