I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
