I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize
