So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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