I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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