I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
