I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
