He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
