I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
