I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
