You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
