no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
