Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
