I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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