we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
