college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize