in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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