Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
