I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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