we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
