i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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