I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
