I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize