was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
