I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
