i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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