margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
