There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
