I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
