We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
