I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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