Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
