I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
