she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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